When things just are not going our way, seemingly no matter what we do, our first instinct is often to "hunker down", push harder, and work even more. To "back off" in a tough situation is typically looked down upon in our Western society as a sign of weakness or "giving up". Sometimes however, the door to success swings inward, and requires space to open wide.

If banging your head against the wall hasn't worked in the past, it's not likely to work —ever. There will be some point at which you will say "enough is enough" and stop doing it. Now, (and this part is important), how you position this stopping in your own mind will make the difference between success and failure —guaranteed!

For example, if you stop and say to yourself: "I give up, this is just too hard", then by definition you have failed. However, if in that same situation you instead stop and say: "I surrender to what is to be" you are effectively taking a spiritual deep breath and allowing other forces (your "higher self", God, the "Cosmos", whatever you choose to call it), room to assist you.

There is a huge difference between "giving up" and "surrender".

• "Giving up" means you accept no possibility of success, while "surrender" means you open yourself up to possibilities that are beyond your present capabilities;

• "Giving up" is a way of retaining a feeling of "control" over your situation, when you "surrender" however, you let go of your need for control;

• "Giving up" requires no courage, in fact it is giving in to fear, while surrender often requires great courage because you allow yourself to face the unknown.

Surrendering to success is not necessarily easy, but it's a lot better than succumbing to the insanity of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results —or worse, the zero possibilities of just giving up.

By the way, if you are wondering if this really works, just think of the couples you know who kept "banging their head against a wall" trying every fertilization technique in the world, just to have a child.  Then, when they "backed off", surprise! they have new bundle of joy on the way!

Life is full of great surprises, sometimes we just have to get out of the way to let them happen.