Our world has been rocked
with loss, sadness, and grief. The human spirit
however, always lives on. And what better way to
celebrate that than to poke fun at ourselves by
standing back to look at some of the absurdities
of our contemporary existence:
-
You just tried to enter your password on the
microwave.
-
You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach
your family of three.
-
You call your son's beeper to let him know it's
time to eat. He e-mails you back from his
bedroom, "What's for dinner?"
-
Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her
web site.
-
You chat several times a day with stranger from
South Africa, but you haven't spoken with your
next-door neighbor yet this year.
-
You check the ingredients on a can of chicken
noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.
-
Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG
file of your newborn so she can create a screen
saver.
-
You pull up in your own driveway and use your
cell phone to see if anyone is home.
-
Every commercial on television has a website
address at the bottom of the screen.
-
You buy a computer and 6 months later it is out
of date and now sells for half the price you
paid.
-
Leaving the house without your cell phone, which
you didn't have the first 20 or 30 years of your
life, is cause for panic and turning around to
go get it. (Make that fifty years!)
-
Using real money, instead of credit or debit
card to make a purchase would be a hassle and
take planning.
-
Cleaning up the dining room means getting the
fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.
-
Your reason for not staying in touch with family
is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
-
You consider second-day air delivery painfully
slow.
-
You used to be worried about e-mail viruses
until you started wearing rubber gloves and gas
masks to open your regular mail.
-
Your dining room table is now your flat filing
cabinet.
-
Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored
Post-it notes.
-
You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead
of in person.
-
You get an extra phone line so you can get phone
calls.
-
You disconnect from the Internet and get this
awful feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on
a loved one.
Hope this has helped cheer
your day. We can all thank "Mrs. Internet" for
passing these on to me via the... well, you know!
